| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 22:22 - Nov 18 with 2620 views | numptydumpty |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 21:04 - Nov 18 by BrianMcCarthy |
"Would Sir like his eyebrows trimmed?"
"Sir? Sir???" |
This "Sir" thing i get too Brian.
i look around and behind me as i look for who they are talking to and there is no one there.
i often say back, i am no sir, but apparently like your good self, i seem to fall into that category also myself !! |  |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 23:18 - Nov 18 with 2470 views | NewBee |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 18:05 - Nov 18 by BrianMcCarthy |
The 'Sir' thing, all of a sudden.
Sir? Sir?
I'm not wearing armour. |
To quote Homer Simpson as he pulled up outside a hotel:
"Look Marge... valets! For once maybe someone will call me 'Sir' without adding 'you're making a scene'." |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 00:57 - Nov 19 with 2394 views | Benny_the_Ball |
+1 for explosion of hair in the nose and ears. My barber suggested a nostril wax whilst I was getting my hair cut. Apart from looking like a pillock with 4 cotton buds stuck up my nose it brought tears to my eyes when he pulled them out.
Struggling to keep up with younger dads at school sports days.
Going to bed perfectly healthy and waking up with an illness. I mean how does one catch a cold in bed?
Stopping myself from telling my children that the movie songs they love were actually written in the '80s and '90s. They think it's hilarious yet creepy that I know the words. |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 09:09 - Nov 19 with 2199 views | 100percent |
Last Christmas I sat my three 30-40 year old kids down to watch Young Frankenstein with Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder - the most seminal comedy film ever released...
After 20 mins, they all decided they couldn't understand what was funny about it....
Needless to say, they are all banned this Christmas this year.... |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 09:33 - Nov 19 with 2141 views | GaryBannister86 |
Only this forum could create a thread as wonderful as this.
For me, the days of rolling my eyes at my parents watching Dad's Army repeats endlessly and exclaiming "he's dead, he's dead, he's dead" at every single character, now horrifically mirrored by me watching Only Fools and Horses repeats endlessly and exclaiming "he's dead, he's dead, he's dead" |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 09:38 - Nov 19 with 2115 views | Bluce_Ree |
It's not all bad news though. I made a decision this year to stop putting up with nonsense at work. Like a zero tolerance attitude to it. I've always been much like my forum persona at work (I'm amazed I've never been fired) but it was always in a jokey way, testing boundaries. But now I'm saying no a lot more and calling out peoples' bullshit.
It's good. What are they going to do? Fire me? They'll need to fire Fat Useless C**t Tony before they fire me.
It's a confidence that comes from age. Like my boss was trying to get me to come back to office a bit more. I called bullshit on that right away. You want me in? Get me a desk, a car park space and a desk/internet set up better than what I have at home. Otherwise, eat my entire arse. |  |
| Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 09:40 - Nov 19 with 2107 views | wombat |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 09:09 - Nov 19 by 100percent |
Last Christmas I sat my three 30-40 year old kids down to watch Young Frankenstein with Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder - the most seminal comedy film ever released...
After 20 mins, they all decided they couldn't understand what was funny about it....
Needless to say, they are all banned this Christmas this year.... |
going to gigs and having to load up with painkillers just to get through to the end ,
oasis at wembley this summer , woke up took first dose, then took some more before the gig started , makes it even worse dont drink these days so dont have the added benifit of not feeling anything from a few drins before the gig .
relived my youth few months ago , gig at the bush empire , kasabian all standing obv got a decent space just to the right of the stage thinking decent view out of mosh pit range, nah first song it went off big time , beer you name it lobbed in the air, thought to myself little mosh wont hurt to much , im 59 dived in reliving my youth for those mere minutes again lifr was great again , next min stray elbow glasses go flying , spent the next min or so scrambling to find them , somehow they wasnt a broken mess found them and retired to space more fitting to my age.
spent the next few days in agony counting my bruises and trying to find a optician who could repair the frames to something close to normal . |  |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 10:19 - Nov 19 with 1978 views | Malintabuk |
You young'uns don't know you're born
Driving in the dark... what is it with that... I remember having to pick up the old lads from the pit who said they don't like driving in the dark... and think soppy old tvvat... welcome to that club now
The joys of the separate bedroom... living in the house 3 daughters less.. we now have extra bedrooms.. now the joys of not only a bed where I'm no longer fighting for the duvet... no longer have 3" of bed... and being woke up by being slapped constantly .... I can luxuriate in a bed to myself
Thinking every lump, bump or mole is the big C ... that every new pain or ache is the big C ....
Watching one of my daughters come in and wince at the volume of the TV... even when we are both wearing our hearing aids
When we are invited out... and both looking at each other trying to think of an excuse why we need to get home... at 6.30 in the evening
Totally fed up of hearing family.. friends... that are now gone...
Looking out the window and seeing the young dad's out in the freezing rain and wind putting up and fighting Christmas/Halloween decs ..... perhaps that is a bonus | | | |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 10:22 - Nov 19 with 1954 views | langtoft |
Will you win the internet today with that post. Music is still a great leveller mind x | | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 10:47 - Nov 19 with 1851 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
Me:
Sits in a normal chair through a 1 hour meeting
My body at the end:
Take that you cnt |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:04 - Nov 19 with 1783 views | wombat |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 10:22 - Nov 19 by langtoft |
Will you win the internet today with that post. Music is still a great leveller mind x |
its the one thing i hate about getting old .
at present ive a totally shagged right ankle op pending
totally shagged right knee big op pedning
and now to join the club a totally shagged right hip due to other two inuries making the hip worse.
gone are the days of doing three or four gigs a week town and country , forum u name it 6 pints a night now its look for decent aisle seating not to far down as geting back up the stairs for a piss means i miss half the gig time i get back | |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:33 - Nov 19 with 1707 views | hamptonhillhoop |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 09:40 - Nov 19 by wombat |
going to gigs and having to load up with painkillers just to get through to the end ,
oasis at wembley this summer , woke up took first dose, then took some more before the gig started , makes it even worse dont drink these days so dont have the added benifit of not feeling anything from a few drins before the gig .
relived my youth few months ago , gig at the bush empire , kasabian all standing obv got a decent space just to the right of the stage thinking decent view out of mosh pit range, nah first song it went off big time , beer you name it lobbed in the air, thought to myself little mosh wont hurt to much , im 59 dived in reliving my youth for those mere minutes again lifr was great again , next min stray elbow glasses go flying , spent the next min or so scrambling to find them , somehow they wasnt a broken mess found them and retired to space more fitting to my age.
spent the next few days in agony counting my bruises and trying to find a optician who could repair the frames to something close to normal . |
I went to see the Wedding Present at the 100 club a few years ago with a couple of mates, probably all early 50's at the time. They were more into them than me so went right to the front while I remained near the bar. When the gig began they were in a mosh pit of about twelve fellow middle aged blokes. To say it was tame would be polite, but they were enjoying themselves. The best bit was at the end when they all shook hands with each other before sloping off. |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:41 - Nov 19 with 1682 views | wombat |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:33 - Nov 19 by hamptonhillhoop |
I went to see the Wedding Present at the 100 club a few years ago with a couple of mates, probably all early 50's at the time. They were more into them than me so went right to the front while I remained near the bar. When the gig began they were in a mosh pit of about twelve fellow middle aged blokes. To say it was tame would be polite, but they were enjoying themselves. The best bit was at the end when they all shook hands with each other before sloping off. |
Kasabian has always been a good way of reliving your youth and coming out with most body parts still in tact , did the same at aly pally a few years previous as well , managed to keep the glass intact as well for that one but suffered for a few days after , did have a result with parking at ally pally though , was driving around looking for a parking space and happened across the parking for the diabled , right next to the entrance , happened to shout across to the very bored steward about parking there , he asked me what was wrong with me , shouted ive got a varucca on my foot he waved me in was in the car ten mins after the gig finished while the rest tropped down to the usual car parks . | |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:42 - Nov 19 with 1681 views | TwoHalves |
I’m beginning to think the club should seriously consider setting aside a section of the ground where, to mitigate the many and varied musculoskeletal issues so eloquently described by contributors to this thread, a selection of ergonomically-designed electronic recliner chairs, or similar, might be provided. Quite possibly accessed by means of a Stannah stairlift (other stairlifts available). Chamber pots available on request. | | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:52 - Nov 19 with 1641 views | stevec |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:42 - Nov 19 by TwoHalves |
I’m beginning to think the club should seriously consider setting aside a section of the ground where, to mitigate the many and varied musculoskeletal issues so eloquently described by contributors to this thread, a selection of ergonomically-designed electronic recliner chairs, or similar, might be provided. Quite possibly accessed by means of a Stannah stairlift (other stairlifts available). Chamber pots available on request. |
Dead right. The South Africa Road stand immediately comes to mind. |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 12:47 - Nov 19 with 1538 views | E17hoop |
Buying one of those pill divider things to separate out the daily doses of stuff. Add this one, add that one, and you're rattling before breakfast.
I've not succumbed to hearing aids yet but know they're in my future; I use earplugs at gigs now otherwise the already constant tinnitus becomes unbearable for weeks rather than days. This is my life soundtrack, approximately 10000 Hz
https://www.checkhearing.org/tinnitusmatching.php?rangeHz=0.851¬e=87& |  |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 12:54 - Nov 19 with 1525 views | wombat |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:42 - Nov 19 by TwoHalves |
I’m beginning to think the club should seriously consider setting aside a section of the ground where, to mitigate the many and varied musculoskeletal issues so eloquently described by contributors to this thread, a selection of ergonomically-designed electronic recliner chairs, or similar, might be provided. Quite possibly accessed by means of a Stannah stairlift (other stairlifts available). Chamber pots available on request. |
Thats a great idea, we could call it the clark salter assisted living stand ! [Post edited 19 Nov 15:04]
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 13:12 - Nov 19 with 1474 views | Bluce_Ree |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 09:40 - Nov 19 by wombat |
going to gigs and having to load up with painkillers just to get through to the end ,
oasis at wembley this summer , woke up took first dose, then took some more before the gig started , makes it even worse dont drink these days so dont have the added benifit of not feeling anything from a few drins before the gig .
relived my youth few months ago , gig at the bush empire , kasabian all standing obv got a decent space just to the right of the stage thinking decent view out of mosh pit range, nah first song it went off big time , beer you name it lobbed in the air, thought to myself little mosh wont hurt to much , im 59 dived in reliving my youth for those mere minutes again lifr was great again , next min stray elbow glasses go flying , spent the next min or so scrambling to find them , somehow they wasnt a broken mess found them and retired to space more fitting to my age.
spent the next few days in agony counting my bruises and trying to find a optician who could repair the frames to something close to normal . |
I had this at a Killing Joke gig a few years back. I'm stood near the front, in front of the guitarist. First song kicks in. The guy next to me starts dancing wildly with a near-full pint of lager that goes over me.
F**k this I thought as I headed to the back.
Like calm down, it's just a band. You don't need to spazz out like you're at a church in Atlanta. | |
| Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 13:18 - Nov 19 with 1454 views | TwoHalves |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 12:54 - Nov 19 by wombat |
Thats a great idea, we could call it the clark salter assisted living stand ! [Post edited 19 Nov 15:04]
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Unlikely to be available for the Grand Opening though. | | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 13:24 - Nov 19 with 1418 views | wombat |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 13:12 - Nov 19 by Bluce_Ree |
I had this at a Killing Joke gig a few years back. I'm stood near the front, in front of the guitarist. First song kicks in. The guy next to me starts dancing wildly with a near-full pint of lager that goes over me.
F**k this I thought as I headed to the back.
Like calm down, it's just a band. You don't need to spazz out like you're at a church in Atlanta. |
people who go to gigs these days are a weird bunch , you have the youngesters who havent got a clue about gig ettiquette, or the old farts who still think they can do what they managed to do 20 years ago with no come back from others around them or there won bodies.
dont judge me went to the emeriates a few years ago to see coldplay , found a decent spot about half way back plenty of room etc, then this lets call him bellend
starts bashing into the back of me and the wife (yes at a coldplay gig ) gave him a few mins and then he tried to push past me totally off his face , so being of lets say larger build i blocked him from pushing through then the attitude from him whats wrong with u etc etc , prob the wrong thing to say to me at the time , so politley asked him if he has a phone signal for his phone . he looked confused , asked him again did he has a phone signal , this time he replied , yes well google a fecking dentist as it you dont feck off youll need one in the next 30 seconds , lad next door to me chelsea fan i think backed it up , dickhead then slopped off backwards tailer btween his legs going i was only enjoying myself. yes i know it was cold play before anyone jumps on | |
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 13:43 - Nov 19 with 1359 views | BexleyHoop |
I had a hip replacement this year - osteoarthritis. Got it in my knees also. Too much Football, Cricket and Athletics when i was younger. Sport is good for you they say!
Had the camera up the japs eye three times in the last year, bladder issues. Getting old is cr*p.
However, still think I am 21 and go out on some ridiculous binge sessions, only to suffer with horrific hangovers for 48 hours afterwards and the sound of the wife banging on 'when will you learn' ringing in my ears
I just find myself becoming less tolerant with ignorant people. Feet on seats on buses and trains, vaping on public transport, not paying for tubes / trains. People dropping litter, fly tipping . The list of things that rile me is increasing.
I am sure I will have a Michael Douglas 'Falling Down' episode one day and go on a rampage |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 13:52 - Nov 19 with 1331 views | GroveR |
I find myself struggling not to buy non-slip bath mats in Dunelm. Being in Dunelm in the first place is another fùcking massive red flag. |  | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 14:17 - Nov 19 with 1270 views | Malintabuk |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 11:04 - Nov 19 by wombat |
its the one thing i hate about getting old .
at present ive a totally shagged right ankle op pending
totally shagged right knee big op pedning
and now to join the club a totally shagged right hip due to other two inuries making the hip worse.
gone are the days of doing three or four gigs a week town and country , forum u name it 6 pints a night now its look for decent aisle seating not to far down as geting back up the stairs for a piss means i miss half the gig time i get back |
Sorry wombat fat fingers.. and not having my glasses on.. something else to add... most definitely should have been an up vote 👍 | | | |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 14:34 - Nov 19 with 1233 views | TwoHalves |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 13:43 - Nov 19 by BexleyHoop |
I had a hip replacement this year - osteoarthritis. Got it in my knees also. Too much Football, Cricket and Athletics when i was younger. Sport is good for you they say!
Had the camera up the japs eye three times in the last year, bladder issues. Getting old is cr*p.
However, still think I am 21 and go out on some ridiculous binge sessions, only to suffer with horrific hangovers for 48 hours afterwards and the sound of the wife banging on 'when will you learn' ringing in my ears
I just find myself becoming less tolerant with ignorant people. Feet on seats on buses and trains, vaping on public transport, not paying for tubes / trains. People dropping litter, fly tipping . The list of things that rile me is increasing.
I am sure I will have a Michael Douglas 'Falling Down' episode one day and go on a rampage |
Bexley, against my better judgement, I have been persuaded by a (just about) functioning borderline alcoholic friend of mine to attend the annual CAMRA beer festival at the Old Dartfordians Rugby Club (your neck of the woods?) during his brief visits from retirement exile in Thailand (quite possibly deserving of a thread of its own there). In recent years I’ve found it necessary to bring not only a collapsible, lightweight seat (because I can’t remain upright for more than half an hour without seizing up) but also a ‘spill proof’ urine bottle for the return journey to south London.
PS: Good knitting-together of the ‘Middle Aged Blokes Club’ and ‘Random Irritations’ threads. [Post edited 19 Nov 14:43]
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| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 14:51 - Nov 19 with 1181 views | BexleyHoop |
| Middle Aged Blokes Club on 14:34 - Nov 19 by TwoHalves |
Bexley, against my better judgement, I have been persuaded by a (just about) functioning borderline alcoholic friend of mine to attend the annual CAMRA beer festival at the Old Dartfordians Rugby Club (your neck of the woods?) during his brief visits from retirement exile in Thailand (quite possibly deserving of a thread of its own there). In recent years I’ve found it necessary to bring not only a collapsible, lightweight seat (because I can’t remain upright for more than half an hour without seizing up) but also a ‘spill proof’ urine bottle for the return journey to south London.
PS: Good knitting-together of the ‘Middle Aged Blokes Club’ and ‘Random Irritations’ threads. [Post edited 19 Nov 14:43]
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Old Dartfordains Rugby Club. Know it well. Club is in Bourne Road, just outside Old Bexley Village, which is worth a stroll around as it has a few good pubs including a 15th century pub called the Kings Head.
Just over the road from Old Dartfordians is a Holiday Inn and bar called the Black Prince in case you would rather stay over the night, rather than use the spill proof urine bottle on the way home.  [Post edited 19 Nov 14:52]
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