Having waved those appeals away referee Gavin Ward started to have more of an influence on the game. He bought a very obvious dive from Utaka to award Portsmouth a free kick on the edge of the box five minutes before half time which Liam Lawrence then curled several yards over the bar. Then after waving play on through a tangle of Derry and Brown in midfield, where Derry actually seemed to be more sinned against than sinner himself, he returned to show a yellow card to the QPR man once the attack had come to a halt but only did so after Michael Brown came across, screaming in his face about the incident — prior to that he’d shown no inclination to even go and talk to Derry, never mind show him a yellow card. For the second time in as many games I think our midfielder was hard done to. He now has four yellow cards for the season, one away from a one game ban with the home match against Cardiff looming.

His opposite number Paddy Kenny was more than equal to a weak header from Lawrence at the back post midway through the second half as Utaka’s influence on the game started to wane. Lawrence also saw yellow around this time, which would become crucial later, when Kyle Walker kicked through onto a boot that he left in when attempting to block a clearance down the line. Walker made a real meal of it, riving on the turf in mock agony, and a yellow card was probably about right.

Then, the first penalty incident. It actually came during QPR’s best period of attacking pressure in the half and just seconds after Adel Taarabt had brilliantly tricked his way into the area and then delivered a disappointing cross into Ashdown at the near post. The ball was launched away down field and after badly misjudging it in the first instance, Matt Connolly then made a real mess of trying to recover the situation and although he got back to Kitson who had run in behind him he could only trip the lanky striker over for an obvious penalty and red card. No complaints to this point, Connolly misses the Nottingham Forest game on Saturday with a one match ban.

Then the farce began. Liam Lawrence took the penalty, and placed a weak side footed effort to Paddy Kenny’s left. The goalkeeper, as he did at Swansea a couple of weeks back, flung himself across and saved the ball well with two hands — pushing it away for a corner and receiving the adulation of his team mates. But it soon became clear that all was not what it should be. The linesman had remained in position on the byline and referee Ward was busy signalling that another penalty would have to be taken.

Now I’ll trot out the usual refereeing disclaimer at this point — they only get one look at it, and it’s all very well freezing the frames on television and proving them wrong but they get no replays to look at and can only give what they see. But in this case the linesman and referee hadn’t given what they’d seen. They’d given something that simply didn’t exist, something that didn’t happen. Paddy Kenny had both feet on the goal line right up until the moment the ball was kicked and he pulled off a fine save fair and square. Pathetic, abject, incomprehensible, corrupt, ridiculous, ludicrous — it was all of these things and more.

The second penalty was much more the sort of thing that you expect from Lawrence — struck hard, with the laces, and past Kenny before he’d had chance to move. Which is probably just as well because if he had had chance to move and dared to save it again we probably would have had to go through the farce of having the bloody thing retaken for a third time and as Mr Ward had allowed the game to start five minutes late those of us on the 10.04pm train with a three minute change at Eastleigh were starting to get a bit twitchy. In fact in the interests of getting the game finished before daybreak the referee may have been as well asking Kenny to stand aside and just allow Lawrence a chance to roll the ball into an empty net, seeing as it now seems the goalkeeper isn’t allowed to get involved in these things. And if you’ve got a moment to spare, watch the replay and count the Portsmouth bodies in the area as Lawrence ’s second attempt hits the net.

Mr Ward isn’t so good at spotting things like that, but he is very good at ordering players away from an incompetent linesman it must be said — straight over there with all the hand actions and whistle blowing to prevent anybody confronting the useless prick.

From that point on the officiating of the game became a complete nonsense. Within minutes Portsmouth were awarded a free kick on the halfway line, a routine decision, which they took quickly and inadvertently kicked straight to Kyle Walker. A whistle was blown and the free kick had to be taken again. Again, in the interests of making the 10.04pm from Fratton, I wondered if it would have been better at this stage for Mr Ward to simply sling a blue shirt on and start taking the Portsmouth set pieces himself if he was so concerned about the quality of them.

After the goal QPR made a couple of odd substitutions. Warnock replaced Taarabt with Borrowdale, who went to left back with Clint Hill at centre half. This despite Hill gesturing wildly to the touchline that either he couldn’t carry on, or that they were doing the wrong thing, or both. Rob Hulse also made way for Patrick Agyemang and then, later, Leon Clarke came on for Shaun Derry who had a yellow card to his name and a lunatic running round refereeing the game.

It’s worth at this point, in my opinion anyway, pointing out rule 12 of Association Football relating to handball. Mr Ward clearly doesn’t know it, and that became a bit off an issue in the final 20 minutes of the game. The rule states that a direct free kick (or penalty) shall be awarded if a player, other than the goalkeeper in his own area, deliberately handles the ball. Now did Rob Hulse deliberately handle the ball when he received it with his back to goal and it bounced up and hit his hand that was hanging loosely by his side? No, but a free kick was given anyway. Did Hayden Mullins handle the ball in the penalty area when he thrust his arm up into the air and palmed it away from Shaun Derry’s head? Yes, but a free kick was given the other way for a push. Did Liam Lawrence deliberately handle the ball in his area in stoppage time? Almost certainly not. Even if it did hit him on the arm, which I don’t think it did, it came at him from a matter of yards away at pace. That decision though was a culmination of 20 minutes of nonsense decisions from the officials which had fans from both sides sarcastically appealing for handball free kicks whenever anybody touched the ball. Mr Ward was losing control.

As well as the Mokoena handball appeal in the first half, and the Mullins one in the second, Rangers had a third very decent shout for a penalty when Kaspars Gorkss, up from the back for a free kick, clearly seemed to be elbowed by a Portsmouth player but predictably play on was waved.

Right at the end of normal time Tommy Smith went to cross the ball from the deadball line, it was blocked away by Lawrence and for the seven thousandth time in the second half everybody appealed for handball. It wasn’t, it hit Lawrence in his rib cage, but laughably referee and linesman awarded a spot kick anyway.

Lawrence was livid, confronting both officials with a look of rage on his face. By the time his dissent earned him a second yellow card and subsequent red he had torn the shirt from his back to show the telltale football print on his chest. With the shirt hanging loosely around his neck like some sort of sash and his peroxide blonde hair he looked like some crazed Miss Arizona, protesting at being stripped of her title.

In the end she trooped off to join Matt Connolly in the early bath water. Had the game run for another ten minutes I’m convinced they would have been joined by another player or two such was the lack of grip Mr Ward had on the game by this stage.

With Buzsaky spending time with his surgeon again (he sees him more than he does Mrs Buzsaky) Taarabt and Hulse already removed and Heidar Helguson still recovering from a steroid injection into the side of his head penalty takers were thin on the ground. Step forward Tommy Smith who, after another lengthy delay while Mr Ward ensured that everybody was placed just so and the nasty goalkeeper wasn’t going to make any attempts to try and save it, calmly banged the ball into the bottom corner for a very satisfying equaliser.

Now it is not LoftforWords’ style to just slag off referees. On only three occasions in 17 matches this season has a match report ended in a mark of less than five out of ten for an official, because it’s too easy to blame the referee all the time and there’s nothing more annoying and boring than turning on one radio phone in after another to some Chelsea fan or other who didn’t go to the game but listened to the second half while he was painting his kitchen ceiling starting his call with: “I know we don’t like to criticise referees, but that bloke today…”

But what exactly should I do in this situation? Or indeed the situation I found myself in ten days ago after spending the thick end of £100 going to watch QPR v Burnley only for the referee to blow his whistle and interrupt the play every minute and 45 seconds? Should I just pat them on the head and trot out Graham Poll’s favourite mantra about it not being the referees who make a bad pass, or commit a foul, or make the wrong substitution, or dive? Should I focus instead on Matthew Connolly, who misjudged the original ball and then fouled Dave Kitson in the area allowing the penalty farce to occur in the first place? Or Steve Cotterill who, despite having an in form team leading 1-0 against ten men, inexplicably chose to try and sit back and soak up pressure for the final 20 minutes culminating in the nonsense decision that robbed him of two points?

Those points are certainly worthy of mention and analysis, but they do not in any way excuse the three match officials for their handling of this fixture. Allow me to quote our referee Gavin Ward, from his Ref World profile, on what makes a good referee: “Remaining calm in all situations with positive body language, man management and self confidence helps to control matches, as players pick up on this. Having the ability to listen to advice offered from more senior colleagues, this will help develop you as referee. Most importantly is to enjoy what you do.”