What a waste of money that was. Even if it had been free it wouldn't have been worth it. Rochdale sat back and watched as Stockport destroyed them 3-0. Full report and ratings online.

After the game last night, I logged onto the internet and onto MSN Messenger and was greeted by a Rochdale fan and messageboard regular who told me not to hold back when writing this as it was one of the worst performances he'd ever seen.  He also said he didn't envy me having to write this because it was difficult to put it into words. 

It's more than likely a wasted effort as well as most people who went last night and actually suffered having to watch it won't want to read it again for fear of manic depression.  Even the people who were lucky enough to be at home or at work last night won't want to read it because seeing that we've been beaten 3-0 by the team bottom of the league is enough to make anyone turn to the Coldplay CD's.

The team selection was a joke. The performance from the players was a joke. The run we're on is a joke. The fact that until December, we were looking at how the top three were doing to see if we could go above them and now we're looking at the bottom two to see if we can stay above them is a joke.  Jokes are meant to be funny though.

Last night was as bad as anything I've seen while watching Rochdale.  Is it too much to ask for some passion, determination and effort?  You also have to question Parkin on this one.  His decision to leave arguably the best player at the club on the bench to play Jon Boardman and Rory McArdle (or Coco and Krusty courtesy of TTNYear) in defence is crazy.  Also, he plays a central midfielder and a striker on the wings.  We saw with Michael Oliver that just because a player is left footed, doesn't mean they can play out wide!  Same thing with Ernie Cooksey.  We have seen that Dagnall is a talent but he's completely wasted on the right and in all honesty, it looked like Parkin was just trying to play all his new players even if it meant playing them out of position.

It says a lot that I was gutted to have a missed the channel 4 episode of Shameless which I'd already seen such was the state of our performance.

Ah well, suppose I'd better get on with reporting on the match.  This should be fun!

As I mentioned previously, the team selection was awful.  Brisco was dropped thank god as Jones came back into midfield but unfortunately Jon Boardman came in to replace Griffiths who was suspended.  Gilks was in net, we had a back four of Ramsden, McArdle, Boardman and Gallimore.  We had four man midfield consisting of Dagnall, Jones, Doolan and Cooksey with Christie and Lambert up front.  Shockingly, our best player was left on the bench in Alan Goodall.

Things weren't so bad in the first few minutes and Stockport were even reduced to ten men for a spell when Jon Boardman looked to accidentally stand on Dickinson's head when trying to get his balance.  Dickinson went off needing stitches and they eventually replaced him with Matty Hamshaw.  I was amazed he didn't start the game and he proved to be quite the pain in the arse for Rochdale.

With nearly twenty minutes gone, Iyesden Christie had an effort which went over the bar.  He should really have hit the target.

At one point during the half, a corner came in and Boardman who was having an absolute Tony Blair of a game managed to try an effort but effectively cleared the ball for Stockport.  Shame he couldn't show the same defensive skills for Rochdale!

There were several goalmouth scrambles in the County penalty area which eventually got cleared as Dale failed to capitalise.

Twenty five minutes were on the clock when Rochdale should have been ahead.  Ernie Cooksey won't want to watch a replay of this but he managed to hit a shot well wide of the target from less than twelve yards.  An awful miss which left me with my head in my hands.

From then on Rochdale just decided they were fed up and wanted to go home and in doing so switched off completely and allowed Counteh to walk all over them.

Just before the half hour mark, Counteh went 1-0 up through ex Biffo Danny Boshell.  Rory McArdle failed to deal with a simple cross and his clearance only went about a yard straight to the feet of Boshell who curled it into the corner.  Bloody awful defending yet again.  Is it any wonder we've only kept two clean sheets all season?

Four minutes later and it was 2-0.  Keith Briggs got a cross in and another ex Biffo in Adam Griffin got ahead of his marker far too easily and flicked the ball past Gilks into the far corner.

Chris Dagnall managed an effort shortly before half time which was close.  It turned out to be our best chance of the game as he let rip with a volley from the right hand side of the box but Frank Spencer in the Counteh goal tipped it over very well.

Half time came and the Dale fans were outraged and rightly so.

Dale came out for the second half and looked to attack.  John Doolan struck one from distance that went harmlessly wide and Gary Jones hit a shot that took a deflection to take it agonizingly wide of the post.

With many Dale fans calling for Alan Goodall to come on, he finally did in the 78th minute and he replaced Ernie Cooksey who despite trying hard, looked completely lost on the left.

Ten minutes later, Stockport made it 3-0 but by this time a good portion of the Dale following had gone so missed the goal.  Can't say I blame them either!  Keith Briggs broke through a static defence near the half way line and ran all the way through, rounded Gilks and side footed home to send the Counteh fans into raptures.

That was it for the majority of Dale fans who must have wondered why they had bothered.

Thankfully, we were spared anymore goals and the full time whistle was blown and a large booing was heard from the Dale fans unsurprisingly with many asking where the passion was.  I was just speechless.

I was unfortunate enough to be at Wycombe back in December which was the worst performance of the season until last night.  Wycombe was extremely bad and those who went will agree but last night took the piss quite frankly.

The defence has been awful all season but it has chopped and changed so much that I'm convinced that Parkin picks a random four names out of a hat before the game.

Rory McArdle has a future in football I think.  He's only 18, a Northern Ireland under 21 somehow and is contracted to a Championship team.  It's going to be a while before he makes it though and when he does, I'll be amazed if it's as a centre half.  He can't head, he lacks pace, he loses his man too often, he can't anticipate where the ball is going and he only knows one pass, the first time hoof!!  If you're reading, go away and come back in three years!  At the moment, you're no further in terms of progression than Kevin Gibbins!

Jon Boardman, if you're reading, leave the club and get down the Job Centre.  It's easy to find, it's at the bottom of Drake Street on your left as you go down.  My brother's girlfriend works there, I'm sure she'll be able to find you something else to do on a Saturday!  I'll tell you what, I'll even give you the bus fare! 

Last night was utterly unacceptable and I don't want to have to write another report this negative!  Get it sorted out now Steve.  Time is ticking and fans patience, including my own, is running out quickly!

Player Ratings:

Matt Gilks 6 Nothing he could do with the goals, he's just got a Sunday League level defence in front of him

Simon Ramsden 6 One of our better defenders.  Poor in the air but can cross a ball

Tony Gallimore 6 Did alright.  He and Ramsden had to cover for the two "centre backs" as well as play their own position

Rory McArdle 3 About as bad as you can get.  It was like having Laurel & Hardy in defence

Jon Boardman 3 See McArdle

Chris Dagnall 5 Wasted on the right wing.  Had our best effort but was pretty anonymous for the rest of the game

Ernie Cooksey 4 Very poor.  Worked very hard but is about as much a left winger as he is a monkey

John Doolan 5 Made a few good passes but like Daggers, pretty anonymous for the most part

GARY JONES 6 Poor in the first half but was everywhere in the second half and looked determined at least

Rickie Lambert 6 Worked quite hard I thought but everything had to go through him and he was left in the lurch quite often

Iyesden Christie 5 I only remember him doing two things, one was an effort that he ballooned over the bar and the other was when he looked at the fans and walked off with his head down after the game

Subs:  

Alan Goodall 6 On for 10 ten minutes.  Should have started

Photo: Action Images

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