| Over in Beesland.... 10:24 - Oct 27 with 7894 views | qprxtc |
Someone over at the Brentford messageboard sat down to write this, must've taken a while. I'm going home to snort some charlie, neck some Diamond White and give my hooped earringed bird a slap. Slags:
beenthere
Join Date: Aug 2009Location: FrancePosts: 571 Threads: 0Posts You Liked: 45269 Likes for 126 Posts
OK. This is how I see it panning out.
Nb. This is a bit longer than normal given the importance of the match
Forget El Classico, forget The Old Firm, forget Man U v Liverpool and forget Rio’s Fla-Flu.
This is the big one.
By Friday morning, red and white rosettes are like gold dust in TW8, the streets are gaily decked in bunting all the way from the old fire station right up to the Half Acre. The noble folk of the parish go to their honest toil with even more than the normal pride as they anticipate the coming confrontation.
Down the road in the Bush, the bovine tattooed louts shudder while their constipated chain-smoking women toy listlessly with their enormous hoop earrings, munch on slices of cold Aldi pizza and take copious swigs from bottles of Diamond White as they bellow obscenely at their numerous moronic offspring. They all know their hour is nigh.
Meanwhile in Addis-Ababa, an Air Asia flight refuels en route to Heathrow…
At Griffin Park, in a lead-lined clean room buried many levels below the luminous Motz, Lee Carsley and some other bloke look on in glazed Pavlovian expectancy as Phil Giles and Rasmus re-run the sophisticated team selection software through the massively powerful Amstrad PC 1512. The top-secret print out is then sealed in a strong box to which only those present have the combination.
Over in W12, Chris Ramsey searches his threadbare overcoat for that pencil he nicked from IKEA. He licks the lead and slowly mouths the words as he scribbles on the back of a betting slip in barely legible capitals his team choices.
By early evening, the fall out from hurricane Patricia brings strong winds and rain to West London. The Bees faithful begin to congregate in the local hostelries and warm themselves with delicious mulled wine before glowing log fires. Up the road in west Ken, the revolting detritus that is the QPR support musters itself from its lethargy and queues up for 237s down to God’s own borough.
Come 7.30, GP is full to capacity. Guest of honour and veteran of both Bees and QPR; Mark Lazarus is paraded around the pitch to full-on abuse and a hail of coins from both sets of fans. In the directors’ box Matthew Benham shakes Tony Fernandes warmly by the throat and the top-secret team selections are announced. To absolutely no-ones surprise, both teams are unchanged from their previous outings. Natalie is on the touchline and sees through her summary despite off-colour background comments regarding her young man’s sexual proclivities from the Ealing road. Bees are in fine voice as they perform an acapella version of “Your going to get your f*ck*n’ ‘ead kicked in” in the manner of the Military Wives. Queen’s Pork Rovers respond with a vapid rendition of Ed Sheeren’s “People fall in love in mysterious ways”; it really doesn’t have the same impact at all.
Once given the nod by the sky bloke, the game gets underway. Again the Bees are superb, Judge is unstoppable and the assembled premiership scouts are all waving blank cheques at him whenever he gets close. Woods is running around all over, and Diagoraga is doing that flappy arm thing he always does when he turns and runs with the ball. Marco nips in and it’s 1-0, Yennaris gets on the score sheet too.
Half time Us 2 - Them 0.
Wind and rain persist as the second half kicks off with us playing towards the Ealing Road. On sixty minutes a strong gust lofts a Rob Green goal kick high and long, Button slips as he runs backwards, 2-1.
Canos comes on for Mac, Vibe for Marcos etc. We are pushing like mad but the score stays 2-1, in the dying seconds they break away and Charlie Austin collects a wind assisted long pass, checks, shoots…back of the net! Lino flags, ref says offside. Mayhem ensues. Fernandes runs down to the touchline and gesticulates wildly, over in the Andy Scott Memorial dugouts, Ramsey is losing it big time. The ref waves away the protests of the players and blows for time as soon as the game restarts. Bees pitch invasion!!! Flares and everything.
While all this is going on, the London bound Air Asia Boeing makes its final approach and lowers its undercarriage, several dozen plastic bags full of un-cut heroin fall earthwards. Buffeted by the storm they tumble towards GP and begin to land in front of the Wendy House. Despite their defeat the QPR also invade the pitch as they recognise the all too familiar China White they so regularly purchase round the back of Westfield.
Result: Us 2 - them 1
Notwithstanding their defeat, QPR go home happy having chased the dragon while waiting for the 237 home to their terrible lives.
Saturday morning the Guns and Drugs Unit raid Loftus road, Fernandes is arrested and charged. With QPR’s funding now explained, the FA begins preliminary expulsion proceedings against the club and the Bees are all still out on the lash. |  | | |  |
| Over in Beesland.... on 18:16 - Oct 27 with 2617 views | Juzzie |
This 'should' be a big derby due to the geographical distance but I just can't get as worked up, and I now live nearer to their ground than LR!
I really do think it's a case of hardly playing each other over 50+ years has meant there's been nothing to get worked up about. No dodgy results, no dodgy decisions, no unfair penalties/fouls/sendings off/head-butts etc, no glorious victories or sublime goals, etc. Nothing that normally stirs the soul of near-future derbies.
What do we have.... an aborted take-over (thankfully) and a Bircham last minute winner at Griffin Park. That's it.
[Post edited 27 Oct 2015 18:19]
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| Over in Beesland.... on 19:00 - Oct 27 with 2504 views | Lblock |
| Over in Beesland.... on 17:00 - Oct 27 by Antti_Heinola |
or maybe we wind in ours with all this talk of cup finals.
i remember a few chelsea fans acting like this... before we beat them 1-0 and they had 2 players sent off. |
Steady on old boy....
I don't mind you digging me out, disagreeing with me or showing me up as an idiotic fool.
But there are limits and comparing me to a Chelscum fan is nothing less than car park talk (with or without pistols or a pike lance). |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Over in Beesland.... on 20:58 - Oct 27 with 2381 views | enfieldargh |
I classify games against Brentford in the same category as Charlton, Orient, Palace and Fulham. No big deal if we won, not the end of the world if we lost.
I hate Millwall and Chelsea for what their fans stand for, and the ugliness of what happens getting to the grounds, during the game and after getting home. (Although going to Stamford Bridge now is a bit like going to Hamleys just before Christmas).
Arsenal, Spurs and West Ham have just been bigger clubs with larger stadiums and bigger fan bases so beating them when it happens is a good feeling.
This is some of Brentford's fans view of us but with bile and venom which is totally ignored by 99.9% of qpr fans.
They win so what. We win we get 3 points. The same amount of points we got for beating Huddersfield.
Must dash the wife needs milking |  |
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| Over in Beesland.... on 02:14 - Oct 28 with 2227 views | timcocking |
the revolting detritus that is the QPR support musters itself from its lethargy
lol |  | | |
| Over in Beesland.... on 16:42 - Oct 28 with 2058 views | whittocksRs |
If our fans and team go into this game thinking, 'pah, it's just another game', we're going to get the sort of shock Chelski got when they came down to Loftus Road in 2011/12. We need to start taking these games, and their significance, seriously. One win (might even be no wins) from the last 14 London derbys says it all. |  | | |
| Over in Beesland.... on 16:50 - Oct 28 with 2048 views | themodfather |
good point about our lot being motivated...how many times have we come unstuck??
who will motivate this lot? no gallen, bircham or cook as r's fans to tell the others these games matter.....
i felt oddly confident going to foolham, and the team went out and ferking melted! our last ever game at gwiffin park too....lets end history there with any sodding win! | | | |
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| Over in Beesland.... on 18:10 - Oct 28 with 1970 views | terryb |
When I was on the road to Damascus I was informed that Rangers had three main rivals with Brentford as a close fourth.
The three being Watford, Millwall & Palace.
London's "big four" didn't come into the equation as we never played them!
Fulham, Orient & Charlton were also rare opponents.
How times have changed! | | | |
| Over in Beesland.... on 18:37 - Oct 28 with 1927 views | Bluce_Ree |
OH GOD! That's so embarrassing. That poor bastard must have thought he was the absolute shit writing his poncey missive about the upcoming match. I'm cringing for the poor f**ker. |  |
| Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. |
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| Over in Beesland.... on 18:42 - Oct 28 with 1921 views | johncharles |
Help is available on the NHS
Just had a pint in Brentford. We're all looking forward to a great local derby. 3 - 3 is the general consensus but of course there are the usual screaming knobheads who think QPR come from the planet evil. Mostly ignored. As I said to a Brentford mate, don't worry we've got our own knobheads. |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Over in Beesland.... on 19:17 - Oct 28 with 1872 views | Dorse |
Rhino Edwards (Status Quo) is a Brentford fan. I don't know why but that kind of sums them up, for me.
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| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Over in Beesland.... on 19:24 - Oct 28 with 1864 views | kensalriser |
This guy is under 60 and not only doesn't have a ponytail, he doesn't even have long hair. You can't seriously expect us to believe he's a bona fide member of Status Quo. |  |
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